Last week MP Dr Rupa Huq told the House of Commons that London professionals are living like students.
It makes sense then that people aged between 30 – 39 are leaving in their droves.
As house prices soar, creativity is squeezed out, and the rich seem set on taking over and turning London into a millionaire’s playground.
There’s never been a better time to leave.
Not ready to quit the capital yet? See how you feel when you reach the end of this list…
1. Reasonably priced housing is only big enough for fairies*
You won’t have to flatshare as you approach 40 or fight over the milk at 50. You won’t have to live with Mummy and Daddy when you’re middle-aged either. Or live in a bedsit where the microwave, shower and bed are all within an arm span.
* FYI, fairies don’t exist
2. A lengthy and tedious commute
If you have managed to get on the property ladder, chances are you’ve a long commute ahead of you. Live in Kent? Expect five hours added to your working week. Essex chap? Expect to pay over £20 for a long commute into the city – it’s exhausting.
3. Limited seating leaves you standing – with someone’s armpit in your face
It’s bad enough that you have to use public transport – venture outside the M25 and you’ll have a seat to yourself.
4. Londoners are grim about the mouth
The only time I recall ever speaking to people on the Tube was during the Olympics, then everyone went back to being their miserable selves. Where I’m from, strangers have the time of day for each other, and if not a smile will suffice.
5. There’s a rat in my kitchen, what am I gonna do?
Finally, no more rats or mice. I won’t drag out the old cliché about how close rats always are in London, as you’ll no doubt be familiar with it already.
6. Numbers of hipsters on the increase
Tolerating bearded, self-proclaimed media moguls whose every syllable is designed to bolster themselves while undermining you is unnecessary. Just leave Dalston already.
7. The super rich are on the increase, too
As London’s price tag doubles, so too do the super-rich. The roads now have a ribbon of cars that cost more than your life savings, depressingly highlighting how poor you are.
8. London locals are cursed with black bogies
Yes, outside of London we joke about how polluted the place is and how the day after a visit we have ‘black bogies’.
9. It’s so overpopulated
It’s just too busy! If you’re not stuck in a queue or behind a slow-walker, you’re being elbowed at a bar or shoved off the dancefloor.
10. London hotels are the most expensive in Europe
London is even pricier than Switzerland costing an average of £126 per night.
11. Beer costs more than a McDonald’s Happy Meal
The average cost of a pint of Carlsberg in London can often top £5.
12. The horror of the Tube
Being crammed onto the Tube like sardines with your nose in someone’s armpit – the stench of sweat forcing you to denounce the small slither of sunshine the UK gets.
13. Stinky, littered night buses
Night buses filled with alcohol-induced vomit or bumper-to-bumper traffic in the day with half eaten chicken wings at your feet… Take your pick?
Even if you want out of London, the escape route is filled with perils.
See it live on Metro’s website now!